S01Openers
Boot Gate
The uncard boots up like a device, roasts one real trait, then waits for a tap.
Fifty scenes. We pick the ones that fit.
Every uncard is 8 to 10 scenes, chosen for your person and put in an order that works. No pet? No pet scene. Hates quizzes? No quiz.
The shape of a good uncard.
Nine beats, usually in this order. Some uncards merge two; a rich story might earn a tenth.
- 01ArriveLand inside their world
- 02RecogniseShow you know them
- 03RememberBring a real story to life
- 04PlayLet them do something
- 05BreatheChange the pace
- 06CameoHear from someone else
- 07Pay offReturn to an earlier joke
- 08Mean itSay what matters
- 09FinishEnd on a high
S02Openers
Belated Clock
Knows what day it is. Counts down, celebrates, or jokes about arriving late.
S03Openers
Name Logo Splash
Their name as a logo made from their world: ransom notes, neon, chalk, pixels.
S04Openers
Scratch-Off Reveal
Scratch a silver panel to reveal the big number, a plan or a gift.
S05Openers
Movie Trailer Opener
A twenty-second trailer. Their habits are the plot. The title is a pun.
S06Stories & Cartoons
Incident Report & Replay
One harmless mishap, filed as an official report. With a replay button.
S07Stories & Cartoons
Pixel Cutscene
A six-scene pixel cartoon of one real story, starring a sprite who looks like them.
S08Stories & Cartoons
Comic Strip
Four panels: setup, escalation, twist, and a warm last frame.
S09Stories & Cartoons
Nature Documentary
A hushed narrator observes them in the wild. Their catchphrase is the signature call.
S10Stories & Cartoons
Polaroid Wall
A wall of instant photos. Tap one to read the note on the back.
S11Stories & Cartoons
Photo-to-Art Portrait
A photo turns into pixel, halftone or comic art, right in the browser.
S12Stories & Cartoons
Life Timeline
Their story so far, one screen per milestone, ending on now.
S13Roasts & Reveals
Performance Review
Six competencies, star ratings, manager comments and a warm promotion.
S14Roasts & Reveals
Talking Pet Cameo
Tap the pet and it talks back. Keep tapping for the sweet line.
S15Roasts & Reveals
Fake Diagnostic Scan
Run a diagnostic on them. Readings, a control group, then a compliment.
S16Roasts & Reveals
Trading Card
A shiny collectible with rarity, stats and a special ability.
S17Roasts & Reveals
Framework Briefing
A mock consulting deck that explains them with a framework and silly charts.
S18Roasts & Reveals
Official Decree
Whereas clauses from real facts. Sign it into law. A hidden memo follows.
S19Roasts & Reveals
Court Case
A mock trial for harmless crimes, with exhibits, a witness and a warm sentence.
S20Roasts & Reveals
Wanted Poster
A vintage poster: an alias, affectionate crimes and a reward you really offer.
S21Fake Formats
Fine Print
Terms and conditions for being their friend. The Decline button runs away.
S22Fake Formats
Owner's Manual
What’s in the box, care and feeding, troubleshooting and a lifetime warranty.
S23Fake Formats
Résumé & Endorsements
A profile with a silly headline and skills endorsed by their real friends.
S24Fake Formats
Group Chat Replay
The friends “plan” the birthday in an animated chat. Their catchphrase lands last.
S25Fake Formats
Departure Board
A split-flap board where every row is about them. The last one points to cake.
S26Games
Catch Game
Catch falling favourites for thirty seconds. Nobody loses.
S27Games
Tap Challenge
A big button that counts taps, with milestones and a secret far down the count.
S28Games
Fill the Meter
Fill a gauge of their obsession until it overflows. Then the decaf gag.
S29Games
Memory Match
Flip pairs from their world. Every match reveals a small fact.
S30Games
Perfect Timing
Stop the marker in the zone, three rounds. Every score gets a good line.
S31Games
Spin the Wheel
Every spin lands on something good. The third spin hits the jackpot.
S32Games
Word Search & Mini Crossword
A small puzzle built from their names, places and hobbies.
S33Quizzes
How Well Do You Know Them?
Six questions from real facts. Funny reactions. A warm result at any score.
S34Quizzes
Identity Check
A fake “prove it’s you” check with tiles only they could solve.
S35Quizzes
Mad Libs
They type the words. The uncard writes a story starring them.
S36Quizzes
The Year You Were Born
Prices, songs and gadgets from the year they arrived, from a vetted data pack.
S37Music & Sound
Mixtape & Sing-Along Song
Original lyrics on a short track, highlighted as it plays, on a tape deck.
S38Music & Sound
Beat Pads
Sixteen pads of sounds from their world. A secret combo unlocks a message.
S39Music & Sound
Voice Notes
Real voice messages from the people who love them.
S40Music & Sound
Catchphrase Buttons
A soundboard of the things they always say.
S41Heart & Words
The Letter
The real reason you adore them, with a callback and one true story.
S42Heart & Words
N Reasons
A counter races to their age while real reasons fly past.
S43Heart & Words
Coupon Book
Six coupons you will actually honour. One just says “Ask me anything.”
S44Heart & Words
Group Signature Wall
Everyone adds a note, a doodle or a photo to one shared wall.
S45Heart & Words
Fortune Cookie
Five fortune cookies. Two funny, two sincere, one straight from the heart.
S46Heart & Words
Top 5 Countdown
The top five things about them, counted down with a drumroll.
S47Finales
Launch Sequence
A big red button starts a scripted launch that ends in cake.
S48Finales
Candle Blowout
Candles for their age. Tap them out, make a wish, cue confetti.
S49Finales
Credits & Easter Egg
Rolling credits with fake job titles and one hidden secret.
S50Finales
Achievements Unlocked
Badges pop as they explore. The last one reads 100%: Loved.
Classic marks the 18 scenes grown from the card that started it all.